David Warner Enjoying Unemployed Life

Just days after entering the state of unemployment for the first time, David Warner has admitted that he is enjoying the freedom it has offered him. After negotiations broke down between Cricket Australia and the Contracted players, many key players have found themselves technically unemployed.

“It’s been a pretty crazy few days” said Warner.

“Obviously the ideal scenario is that we can reach an agreement in the coming days, but for now I’m happy to enjoy the novelty of the situation.”


After the player’s strike, an agreement has yet to be made, potentially leaving a third-rate Australian side to play for the Ashes. For the meantime however, Warner is happy to bide his time and enjoy the free time unemployment offers.

“I’m used to a pretty regimented training schedule, but the only aim I set myself yesterday was to try and piss a skidmark of the back of the toilet bowl.”

“I’ve been mostly just watching cartoons on my OLED TV really, which could become boring but I’ve been doing a lot of binge watching to catch up on the shows I miss when I’m away during the winter.”

Despite usually living a truly professional lifestyle, Warner has admitted to letting himself go in recent days.

“I actually had a pack of chocolate digestives and a bottle of Budweiser for breakfast the other day; it’s been a welcome change from toast.”

Cricket Australia will be looking to resolve the situation, or face losing their star players to the global T20 circuit.


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